Embrace the Mess
That’s where the good stuff lives
mess• /mes/ • noun
: a dirty or untidy state of things or of a place.
Getting away from your past is not an easy task. Whether it’s from past glories, past relationships, or past (unfulfilled) dreams that continue to haunt you to this day. You might try to hide it, make it look perfect on the outside. Using anonymity as power to craft your own self-soothed personal image. The happiness persona often becomes just as much of a priority as actually experiencing it for yourself.
In our culture, the way we deal with the irregularities of things in life is often to introduce order, give your life a structure. Having bad grades, then you will be advised to learn regularly. Constant mood swings, then you might be advised to pray regularly (since some people still think that the major cause of your unhappiness is your lack of faith). Losing your loved ones, you might try to do boring routines just to keep the memories alive. Just like Charles-Haden Savage in Only Murders in the Building, who is trapped in the useless routine of making an omelet, whose aroma can even waft up to his next-door neighbor, but always ends up in the trash.
“We’re all screwed up in one way or another. It sort of makes you normal”
— Ricky Gervais (After Life)
Charles is not special, most people are screwed up in their own way and constantly trying to get their shit together. Doing things, making extra effort to get away from our own mess, hoping things will get better over time. But the reality is often counterproductive, and only makes us fall into a deeper pit.
“We often succumb to the temptation of a tidy-minded approach when we would be better served by embracing a degree of mess.”
— Tim Harford (Messy)
While order might be an answer for some people, I think another perspective in approaching the disorder deserves more incentives. And it’s to embrace the mess, be willing to accept our brokenness, and acknowledge it as a part of who we are.
Embracing the mess is often more liberating and sustainable rather than being in denial about our cracks and shortcomings. While this is never an easy way to approach it, at least it is what I learn the most from our murder-mystery-solving-trio, as they begin to experience personal wholeness that has slipped away from them for a long time as they open themselves up to their flaws in their journey.
Embracing the mess doesn’t mean letting our cracks define us. Rather we should never let our cracks be used to hurt us in any way.
Embracing the mess means that we realize our crack as part of ourselves and live with it. Realizing ourselves as a whole, not just the sum of our broken parts.
While life might seem like a series of unfortunate story that keeps repeating, it also often offers a second shot for you to decide. Will you still cling to the past or will you go to where the good stuff lives?
“Embrace the mess, that’s where the good stuff lives”
— Cinda Canning
End Notes: Only Murders in The Building is definitely a good show, and you should watch it.
